Losers: No Need Apply

Name:__________________________
Date of Birth:_____________________
Ethnicity (circle one) White/Caucasian, African decent, Asian, Jason Lung, Pacific Islander, Other/Ginger
Bishop's Name:___________________
Date that Mission Papers were turned in:___________________
Date of last temple visit:_______________
Average amount of time spent daily playing video games (2k11 counts)______________
Hours per week spent in gym actually exercising:________________
What is the first physical characteristic that you notice on a REAL women (not Jessica Alba):____________
Do you use emoticons whilest texting:_______If so, which ones:___________
How important is texting to you:_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
How did your last relationship end/why:_________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
Sports you currently play, or played in high school ( if none, you are looking for love in the WRONG place):
_______________________________________________________________________________
Temple you plan on getting married in:__________________________________________________
Future career goals (NBA is not an option):______________________________________________
Languages spoken besides English:____________________________________________________
What is your life's mission statement:___________________________________________________
When asked, "Do these pants make my butt look fat?" you reply:
a. With the truth
b. automatic no
c. awkward silence (no response)
Are you willing to pick a girl up at her door for a date:___________
What is the extent of your automachanics knowledge? (Please List)_______________________________
Which muscles are most defined on your body?________________
Describe your ideal first date. __________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________
Would you/ have you ever asked a girl out via text?
What is Harry and Ron's favorite alcoholic beverage?
Who would win in a fight, Ke$ha or Nicki Minaj?
How many children do you want to have?    0     1-4     5- infinity
What are your favorite movies/shows?

Once Application has been completed please send in with 3

A word from the (801)

Today is a Monday and for the first time in what seems like forever the residents of B25 did not wake up in the same room. In fact we are in completely different houses.Please do not have an attack of any kind when you read this but the truth is Lindsley and Braquel do in fact spend their breaks away from not only the beautiful land of Dixie, but from each other as well. Interestingly enough though, we do live off of the SAME street. Please do not argue this with us, we don't like it.

Moving on, we felt it appropriate to take the opportunity to describe what our homeland is like, since most of you reading this blog (all of the what, 4 followers?) know us  from the 435. Here is what you need to know about the land of our fathers' (and mothers, and sisters, and brothers, and dogs, and so on.)

1. It is basically a giant slushie, and we don't mean the yummy kind. There is no high fructose corn syrup to better the yuckiness that is the snow found all over.
2. Its all about the inversion. "Hi, I'm from Northern Utah and I'm pro pollution."
3. Leatherby's aka Leatherbuddies is a must. 
4. La Frontera is a way of life, and at ours, the food must be good because if it wasn't no one would dare step inside.
5. Need a mall? We have like 4 within a 20 minute radius.
6. Need a temple? We have even more of those than we do malls.
7. You had better stop by and meet Brother Udy, it's what all the cool kids do.

There is more to come :)

The Dictionary

We realized after making our first entry that there are many terms that we use that are likely to be confusing to those who are not accustomed to our terminology. To avoid confusion we decided that it was necessary to let everyone in on some of our more popular references and favorites (music, actors/actresses/ quotes.)

Terms:

• The (435): Southern Utah
• Ridonc, also pronounced Ri-donc!: Crazy, unexpected
• F-book: We really shouldn't have to define this
• N.B.D.: No big deal
• Frick Toast: Can be used to express anger, frustration, shock
• Cheesesauce: Used to describe sappy/ gross lovey doveyness
• Nast: Gross, yucky
• Sleigh/Mage: Make out
• NCMO: Non-committal make out
• T.L: When you delete a guy's number in order to test whether or not they will call/txt you first. Without his number, you don't have the option to call first
• Creeper: Again, this really shouldn't have to be defined
• Hoe-bag: Not a positive term for a girl
• Duche (Any variation)
• Flimhaff: Our future last name, yes we plan on both marrying Flimhaffs
• Gem: Positive term for a person
• The Utah bump: That gross thing growing off the heads of many girls in this state
• Nukka: The proper version of the "N" word
• A Girl: This is the label used when one of us is being overly critical, or reading too much into something
• Orange: Hold hands
• Pineapple: Kiss
• Skankatron: Refer back to Hoe-bag
• Dummie: Braquel refuses to advance in her insults
• Hemoglobin: the globular protein of red blood cells, whose iron atoms carry oxygen around the body via blood stream. Also the cause of gnarly nose bleeds." It's because you donate the plasma!!!!

Phrases

• "Hate it when that happens."
• "Naturally"
• "Basically"
• "I've heard tell"
• "Mother of...__________"
• "Good things are happening in Parowan, wait Karl's gone."
• "What the?!"
• "Stop being a girl, go eat some food."
• "It's doctrine, D&C142:____."
• "Let's play the relational game."
• "There is a direct correlation."
• "I just had an inappropriate thought about Joseph Gordon Levitt
• "__________as crap."

Songs

• One of the Boys: Katy Perry
• You're So Gay: Katy Perry
• Raise your Glass: Pink
• Speak Now: T-Swift
• Bohemian Rhapsody: Queen
• Run and Tell That: That one guy on youtube

Shows That we Quote on a Regular Basis (Movies/T.V.)

• He's Just Not that Into You
• 500 Days of Summer
• Elf
• Friends
• Gilmore Girls
• Glee

Intro to our lives

The starting of this blog stemmed from a conversation with one who will be referred to as Cherd. It shall not be taken seriously and should not offend. If you do, however, find yourself feeling offended or bitter towards us bloggers, you are missing the point and we would advise you to search for other bathroom reading material. (We have a collection of Allure, Cosmo, and Glamour if you're interested.) The purpose of this blog is to inform the world of the problematic fiascos (unsure on the spelling of said word), that are our lives. Yes we said fiascos, not Fischio (he is a cool boy though.)
It is likely that there will be many references made to those who we spend our days gallivanting around the Geezy with. Let us take this opportunity to introduce each of them now.
Those who basically live in our room
Gretel: aka: Gret. Brought to us by pure inspiration, and has not left our room or our hearts since. We are so grateful she ditched Hansel and got out of that oven.
Nicole: We will forever be grateful for a certain missionary experience that lead Ms. Stinnett here to the 435.
The B Tower Girls        
Erin: Our dear suite mate who is always looking out for our best interest, and is always setting a great example.
Kayla: We were nervous to meet her, but now can't imagine life without her and her "thoughtful" insights.
Mariette: The coolest, sweetest girl you'd ever meet right out of Texas.
Lisa Pace: We strive to be more like her everyday.
Michelle: aka: The Columbian. Everything about this girl screams "HOT!!!"
Darcie: aka: Daw-cie. As if the name didn't say it all. This girl is amazing.
Those who need no explanation
Sarah Francis: See category. (There may be a future entry dedicated personally to this girl.)
Justin Hope: We'll just leave it at that.
Those Boys from A Tower
Braden: aka: Rodger, Floyd, Wallace, Braden Freaking Saunders. The first time we met this man he was surrounded by women...nothings changed.
Dillon: aka: The Bishoff, Dillion Dillson, Mr.23. His car sheets gave Braquel mono once, this is no lie.
Mexico: The best boyfriend a girl could ask for, Manti is one lucky girl.
Alaska: aka: Polarbear Jeff. The man has kissed 30 girls...that's the entire teen-girl population of Alaska.
Quan: The sweetest boy from Vegas we've ever met. He likes our eyes and our hair.
Landon: a.k.a: the Nukka, he is also from Vegas, so naturally, he lives in The Wynn. High class, and looks good in a suit.
Those Boys from D Tower
Jake Jackson: We're gonna cry when he goes on a mish. Warning: do not enter into the following games with this man: Catch Phrase, Monopoly, or Spin the Bottle.
Nate:aka: Griz. He's just kind, and afraid of/in love with Lindsley's dad. (It depends on the day, and who's playing)
Karl: aka: The Quiet Guy with Big Muscles. Good things used to be happening in Parawon, but then Karl left, now there's only pot heads and loose women running around the dirt roads of town.
C8 in the far far away Land of Canyons
Kelby: Mr. Fischio was one of the first men we met in the Geezy and we simply adore him. Jason is NOT allowed to date his sister.
Chris: Oh my gosh, what to say about Chris....
Clay: aka: The Clayster. We have a love/hate relationship with this man...he just loves to act like he hates us.
Jason: There are not enough words in the English language to describe our love...but we're sure Chris could help us find some Chinese ones.
Marcus: We haven't known him long, but we love him.
Those Single Kids who Have Yet to Get Out of the Ward
Cherd: She once spoke on friendship, that is how she gained ours.
Kim: Our relief society president with ALL of the answers.
Perry: aka: Parrison, Perrith. He takes temple marriage very seriously.
Ames: Do NOT use the "G" word around him. He can quote the entire movie of Hot Rod, which is sort of a BIG deal.
There may be more added at a later time, and we reserve the right to removed any names of people that choose to piss us off. You were warned.
The End.